Fashion Sense
by DarkestAphelion
Summary: Yami Bakura decides to change Ryou's wardrobe a little. Less clothing, more skin. So he enlists the help of Malik and Yuugi. Ryou is going to kill them... if he can even move in those leather pants, that is. [Bakura x Ryou. Other: YYY MR]
1. All in the setup

**OK:** I accidentally posted the wrong thing first time through. Sorry bout that.

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**Disclaimer:** I don't think Yu-gi-oh! was ever intended to be used like this... .

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**Ranbling fix:**

As you can see, a lot of pairings. Bakura x Ryou and Malik x Ryou are the top ones, though. The others are just hinted at.

In other words. A fluff that's actually not bottom of the crack-pile. It's ok. Established relationship... well, kind a. 'Kura's chasing after Ryou. So far not working!! PG-13, I guess... prolly. There's a lot of language and smex-jokes. Tell me if the rating is too low.

So let's get on

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**Fashion Sense** _1/4_

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Yami no Bakura frowned at his newspaper. The pictures of a building getting blown up and people dying were nice to look at, but it was getting annoying to skip past all those infernal "words". He'd have to make his hikari teach him how to read, sometime.

Flipping past the world news, another section caught his eye. Bakura smirked at the black leather-clad models in the picture. He'd like them more if they didn't look so much like that blasted pharaoh, but they were still very tempting.

"Yami?" Ryou called. He was still rubbing dry his hair as he walked into the room.

"Hikari."

Pale, smooth skin. Lightly toned chest and back. The towel slipping down his hips.

Ryou scowled when he saw where Bakura's eyes were fixed. "No." He slipped a shirt over his head and very deliberately buttoned it up to the top.

Damn that kid.

"You know..." Bakura started.

"No."

"This picture is pretty in-"

"No. Now let me get dressed."

Bakura closed his eyes reluctantly as Ryou changed into his jeans. He was too nice for his own good, damnit. Should just take control of their body and go rape some bishies.

"Ugh," remarked Ryou, "you _didn't_ just say that."

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Hours later, Ryou was doing his physics homework like a good little bishounen... er, boy. Bakura was thinking of ways to get Ryou to take his clothes off.

This was a question that had occupied Bakura for quite some time. It was one of the mysteries of his universe, right up there with how to steal the Millennium items and how Yami Yuugi's hair stayed like that.

Not that he cared about _that_, of course. Ahem.

In any case, he'd been stuck with this for a long time. There was something about that boy that made Bakura want to do some very illegal things.

Ryou, of course, had to be the most irritatingly modest homosexual teenage boy in Domino. Even more so than Honda Hiroto- Ryou wouldn't even admit that he was gay. Although he obviously was.

He had to be, damnit.

Bakura was getting desperate. And desperate psychos call for... other psychos.

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Bakura didn't really _want_ to ask Malik's help. The kid was off his rocker. And Bakura wasn't blind- he noticed the way Malik stared at his hikari's ass when they were in the gym showers at their school.

Even _Malik_ had more action with Ryou than he did.

Ryou wouldn't let Bakura separate from him then, or any time he was in the shower. Fuck that, who _cared_ if people noticed? Not like anyone would really notice if an apparition suddenly stuck out of Ryou's shoulder. And if anyone did, he'd just grab Malik's Rod and do them off.

Errr.

Well, maybe it was a good thing, he didn't want to get an eyeful of Yuugi by mistake. Though Yami Yuugi wouldn't be that bad...

Bakura mentally slapped himself.

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Malik grinned. Insanely.

"I'll be very glad to help," he whispered into the phone.

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"Wake up."

"It- ahhn, it- it's nine... leave me alone, it's Saturday."

"Yami, get off!"

"Shut up. You'll strain the handcuffs."

"The handcu- Yami, what the hell are you... m- umph... mnn nn mmp ummh!"

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Bakura wiped a hand across his forehead. Ra knows why he had to break a sweat just to drag Ryou out here. The boy was getting fat, probably. A random thought of fattening up a morsel before he ate him crossed Bakura's mind.

He made a mental note to run Ryou out that night to exercise. After all, all good little bishies are well-built yet thin.

"Don't even open your mouth," he growled at the world. "Next time I'm _taking over_ the body."

Malik shrugged. "Whatever you wish, 'Kura..."

"Don't _call me_ that!"

"Sure, 'Kura. I bought a friend- well, a "friend", hope you don't mind. He shares my gorgeously refined taste."

Bakura made a face. "I thought I told you on the phone that I didn't want Ryou ending up looking like _you_. And why'd you bring the dwarf?"

"What's wrong with me?" asked Malik in an injured voice.

"Yeah!" Yuugi echoed. "If you don't like how we dress, then why did you ask us out here?"

"I didn't ask _you _to go anywhere," snapped Bakura. "And I'm having second thoughts about that _Egyptian_, too."

Yami Yuugi chose that moment to wake up. "What's wrong with _Egyptians_...?"

Bakura held up his hands. "Nothing." He avoided Yami Yuugi's stare.

"Aem," coughed Malik. "If you're done flirting, let's get shopping!"

Yuugi and Yami shared a mental 'yuck' over Malik's valley-girl accent. Bakura would have too, but he didn't like to share anything with those two.

"I think we're forgetting something," started Yuugi. Malik and Bakura turned to him.

"Ryou?" he said pointedly.

"Oh yeah," Bakura said offhandedly.

Malik pouted. "Awwh, Baku you didn't do anything with Ryo-chan, did you?"

Bakura stuck out his tongue. "Don't be so vile-y sugary, you freak."

Yuugi sighed as the two started fighting. He looked around. "Ryou-kun?" asked Yuugi. He poked the limp bag at Bakura's feet. "Are you in there?"

-

Half an hour later, Ryou staggered to his feet. He blinked heavily and stretched out his arms for the nearest warm body. So... tired...

Malik pouted as Bakura slapped his arms away from Ryou.

Ryou mumbled something and fell back against his yami, who had the desire to undress him right then and there. Instead, Bakura stepped back and let Ryou fall to the ground.

"YAmi!" Ryo screeched.

Malik snickered. "He's more of a little girl than I am."

"No bish could be more of a girl than you are, Malik," said Bakura.

"Where am I?"

"Okay... Ryou-kun, don't get too nervous," Yuugi said slowly. "Now, if you just listen for me I promise everything will-"

"We're going to take you _shopping_!" Malik cried as he pounced on Ryou and wrapped his legs around his waist.

"Yami."

"... I'll buy you leather and- oh! I'll have to come into the dressing room to make sure you put them on right, that things are tricky. You have- yeah ok, you have nice abs so we can find a nice high crop shirt to tie around and..."

"Yami."

"... I think you wear the same size as me, so I can good give you some pointers on pants to buy. I'll get you some really classy plastic. Oh! I forgot! The boxer line- hmm, I'll have to see about some underwear that fits a little tighter..."

"YAMI!"

"_What_?" snapped Bakura. "Did I say anything? Did I say _anything_?"

"... ooh, the S&M shop will have a whirl with _you_, if you haven't got any handcuffs you need to start wearing some..."

"Believe in the heart of the clothes," Yuugi said helpfully.

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**A/N:** Hehehehe. Money makes me happy. And course when you're happy, the proper thing to do is to share with others. So... I did! By, uuh, writing a fic. Of course, a review would make me more happy... (ahem)! I would like to know if this was funny, though.


	2. Heart of the clothes

**A/N: **

Hey, I have reviewers from other stories! :: waves at Elle, Dark magician girl and Bobgod ::

This chapter is shorter :: sweatdrop :: Gaah, well it's just supposed to be a silly humour fic anyway, right?

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**Chapter 2- Heart of the clothes**

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Ryou was really confused. He had been dragged out of bed this morning by his yami and he was standing in some dark, edgy store where the blasting music was hurting his ears. He didn't exactly know where he was, or what was going on...

"Ryo-chan!" Malik looped his arms around his shoulders. "Don't look so sad... aw, you're cute when you're confused, though."

He knew that Yami was going to kill Malik very soon. It was kind of funny.

So he decided to go along with this weird play, at least until his yami snapped. Or finally glomped up on Yuugi's yami, either one. Ryou knew that his yami had some weird thing for Yami Yuugi, though he wouldn't dare admit it to anyone. Sometimes it was good to share an unconscious.

Ryou also knew that Yami was going to pounce him one of these days. He hoped that he could fix him up with someone else before then.

Preferably, with Malik. That guy was just scary- kept _touching _him. At least Yami had the decency to stick to leering.

His patience was really tested, though, when even Yuugi joined in.

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"Come on, won't this be better than letting Malik in?" asked Yuugi. "You know I won't look if you don't want me to."

"I don't," Ryou said annoyedly. "I don't see why I have to be chaperoned in my dressing room at all."

"I don't want you buying more clothes like the ones you have at home," Bakura growled from outside the door. "Knowing you you'd defeat my purpose."

Ryou jumped. "Yami, I thought you went away!"

"Don't worry, Ryo-chan, I won't let him barge in on you half-dressed!" Malik chirped.

Ryou twitched.

Yuugi shrugged apologetically. "How about you try on this shirt, Ryou-kun? I think it would look good on you." The shirt was cerulean blue. Polyester, tight. Tank top, with the sides laced up and a high collar. And a zipper that went all the way down the front.

"Yuugi-kun, if I wore that anyone could unzip me!" Ryou said, horrified.

"No one is going to unzip you," said Yuugi comfortingly. "Well... how about _this _shirt that I picked up?"

"What's with all the blue?" Ryou asked.

Yuugi shrugged. "Blue is your cutest color."

Ryou blinked.

"What?"

"I said I... oh, forget I said anything..."

There was an awkward silence, in which Yuugi sat down in embarrassment and Ryou looked up at the ceiling, possibly for guidance. He grinned to himself, finally, and picked up a discarded shirt, waving it in front of Yuugi's face.

"I'll try this on," he said. "But I'm not promising anything, mind you."

Yuugi brightened.

"Oi! Ryo-chan, can I come in? Are you naked?"

Ryou and Yuugi giggled as they heard the unmistakable sound of Bakura kicking the lights out of Malik.

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A mere fifteen minutes later, Ryou stepped out of the dressing room with his hands over his face. He was fully dressed.

Somewhat "dressed", anyway.

Yami Yuugi raised an eyebrow. Coming out of his spirit room sure could be interesting.

"You are..." Bakura gulped. "I..." He stared at the pale shoulders covered with just a few slashes of deep blue leather. Ryou's stomach, bellybutton exposed. Pants that molded to his thighs. With side vents cut up to his hips.

"That outfit is not even legal," commented Malik.

Ryou blushed. "All right! This is enough. This whole thing is ridiculous and I'm not going to stand here and... get leered at... any longer. So stop insulting me!"

"I think they're complimenting you, Ryou," said Yuugi.

He started as the nearby dressing room door opened and Ryou quickly ducked behind him to hide. All stared as Kaiba strode out and smirked at himself in the three-way mirror. He was wearing a tight blue tank top (that looked suspiciously like Malik's) and blue-black leather pants trimmed with silver.

Bakura, Malik and Yami Yuugi whistled in unison.

Kaiba whirled around. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

Ryou and Yuugi cowered, but luckily Kaiba didn't really notice them.

Bakura shrugged. "I'm taking a friend for a dose of my much-needed fashion sense. Perfectly innocent. On the other hand, Kaiba Seto of international fame and subject of many tabloids... what are_ you _doing here?"

"I thought I told you to close the store!" Kaiba hissed into his cell-phone.

"Ah... that explains it," said Bakura. "I wondered why the entrance was locked."

"Then you should have gone to another store, you insane Egyptians!"

Yuugi coughed. "Kaiba, we're really sorry, really..."

"Yuugi, if the store was locked how did we get in here?" Ryou whispered.

He shrugged. "Spirit stuff."

There was an awkward silence. Ryou realized that everyone was looking at Yuugi and himself. He swallowed nervously.

Kaiba stared, not unpleasantly. "Well... who do we have here?"

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**A/N:**

I have no idea how Kai got here. Really. I didn't do it, I swear! Hehehehe, well let's see if next chap we get to find out about some of Kai's... "special" habits.... and we can watch him hit on Ryo-kun!


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